It's Just Not Fair
by halffictionalprincess
Summary: It's not fair that people lost their lives in the war, and it's not fair that Harry blames himself, and it's not fair that Hermione struggles to hold on to the parts of the old Harry. It's not fair, but it's life.


_**A/n-Not written for any contest, just for me. And well, you, considering you are reading this.**_

_**Disclaimer- As if...**_

_**It's Just Not Fair**_

Hermione Granger knew Harry Potter better than she knew herself, which was exactly why she was running after him.

"Harry," she called out for the fourth time, and this time he finally stopped, but didn't turn around. As she slowed down, she realized they were now standing on the Astronomy tower, broken and bruised, it still stood strong.

"Harry," she said, and it was then that she noticed the tears in his eyes and anger on his face.

"Leave me alone, Hermione," he said, in a cold tone she'd never heard him use before.

"No...I'm not leaving you alone, not now," she replied, standing her ground.

She'd never let him push her away before, and she wasn't going to let him, now.

Not when their wounds were still fresh, when the scars were still hurting. Not when she could see that the battle had affected him more than anyone else.

She silently walked towards him, but he backed away, like he didn't want to be near her, like he didn't trust himself not to hurt her.

"It's not fair," he said, running his hands through his hair, "It's not fair that so many people died for me, that people lost their families, their homes because I couldn't be enough to save them. It's all my fault and they're going to be the ones paying for it. It's just not fair," he almost screamed and his pain hit her like a curse.

"It's not your faul-," she tried to say, but his humourless laughter cut her off.

"Not my fault?" he asked, "It is my fault, all my fault,"

"How?" she screamed, not longer able to control her anger or her pain, "How is it your fault, Harry?"

"Because it should've been me," he shouted, "It should've been me and not them. Look at all those people Hermione, look at how much they've lost; it's just not fair,"

She stared at him, and her anger vanished as the magnitude of the guilt he felt hit her.

"Look at the Weasley's, ask George or Ginny, how it wasn't my fault that they had to lose their brother, or ask Molly, who lost her son. Look at Teddy Lupin, who lost his parents, because I couldn't save them. We lost fifty people tonight, Hermione, and god knows how many before, and it's all because of me, so please, don't tell me how it's not my fault. Because it is and it's just not goddamn fair that I get to live and they don't," his screaming voice lowered with each word and by the end he was just whispering.

A tear rolled down his cheeks, and she realized she was crying too, but neither of them made any effort to wipe them away.

"It should've been me," he whispered again, "because no one needs me like people need them, not like they need Fred or Tonks or Lupin,"

And Hermione lost it.

"No one needs you?" she screamed, "Why don't you go and ask George or Ron if they would let you die to save Fred, or Molly, who treats you like a son, if she is willing to trade you for him. No one needs you, right? Teddy doesn't need you to be his godfather, and Ron doesn't need your support, and Molly and Arthur don't need you to be their son or Ginny doesn't need you to be her boyfriend, and I ...," her voice broke as she whispered through her sobs, "I don't need you to be my best friend."

He stared at her, his wet eyes opened wide at her outburst, and she started to walk towards him. She wrapped her hands around him, laid her head down on his chest and whispered, "Because we don't, we don't need you for all those things, we need you because we love you, I need you because I love you, and there s no way that I'm letting you go. So, I know, that it's not fair at all, and maybe I'm selfish, and a terrible person, but after walking with you for the last seven years, I've gotten used to you."

"Used to your laugh and to you thick headedness and your hero-complex and to your ability of finding trouble, and I need that Harry back, the one who did walk around with the weight of the world but still knew how to smile. So, you are going to take as much time as you need, and bring him back to me. But don't take very long; because I don't know..." her voice broke, "I don't know how long I can carry on without him, and it would be just not fair if I have to,"

He finally hugged her back and buried his head in the crook of her neck, "I'm sorry, I'm so , so sorry," he whispered over and over again, "You're not going to lose me, because I won't be able to carry on without you either,"

And they were right, it wasn't fair, but it was life.

_**A/n- Please review!**_


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